It's been a while since I, Chubby Tuffin, have updated you guys on The Cow. Many apologies for the long wait.

      I assure you, her love for eating continues, and continue to eat she does. There have been many amazing quotes since the last time I wrote (how could there not be when a compulsive ice cream eater is involved?). Unfortunately, however, I cannot remember all of them. Fortunately, I thought to write a couple of them down (see bottom of post).

If you can't beat her, join her. (Sometimes the only way to The Cow's heart is eating with her).

      By way of recent Cow news, she's started running so that she can eat more without becoming . . . blubberous. And she discourages her cousin and hypocritically tells him regularly about his need to do sit-ups. (The Cow should follow her own advice in addition to her running). Also, she has started eating carrots excessively in addition to her daily doses of ice cream in order to get The Mothership to stop hassling her about unhealthy daily eating (gorging) habits.

      She has also discovered that some of her friends are true "bovine buddies," which gives her heart joy and fills her spirit with eating ambition. Apparently she is encouraged by other cowish humans.

The Cow Quotes:

(When talking about ice cream): "What's with all these variations? I just want chocolate! . . . if I ever get put on life support, just put chocolate ice cream in my feeding tube!"

Also

The Mothership: ". . . Speaking of figments...who ate all the Fig Nutons?"
The Cow: "Mom needs to keep her nose out of our business. That's what I say!"
The Mothership: "Who ate all the cookies?!"
The Cow:"I don't really consider them a cookie . . . they're more of a health snack . . ." 


Also

"I think I'm addicted to gummy worms . . ."